


The Neighs Have It

by ReaderJane



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-09
Updated: 2011-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-28 17:13:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaderJane/pseuds/ReaderJane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander balks at being a horse's ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Neighs Have It

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the December 2011 sb_fag_ends Spuffy Advent prompt, Pantomime Horse.  
> Timeline: post-series  
> Disclaimer: still not mine, alas.

"Come _on_ , Xander!" Dawn hated when her voice came out whiny. Surely she'd left the kid sister role behind her?

"Not even for you, Dawn. I thought the play was going to be on Thursday. This is different."

His attempt at firm reason was undercut by the ridiculous picture he made: oversized furry pants hanging from suspenders with a long tail attached to the seat.

"They had to change it because of a scheduling conflict. This is Alex's school play. Why won't you do it?"

"Because Friday is Halloween. Ever since Ethan Rayne got whacky with the mojo, I only wear cool costumes on Halloween. Firefighter, James Bond, soldier, Batman."

"Nothing's gonna happen," Dawn reasoned. " _Spike's_ not scared of a costume."

The vampire in question watched them argue, a sour expression on his face. He wore a matching pair of horse legs without the tail. A huge costume head was tucked under his arm, its flannel tongue lolling like a demented gargoyle.

"And that's another thing. How did you rope Dead Boy into this?" Xander turned an accusing finger on Spike. "I thought you had more pride."

Spike shrugged. "Buffy asked."

"There's no way I'm risking getting magically stuck as his hind end."

"I'll make you mac and cheese," Dawn cajoled.

"Not even close."

"I'll owe you big time."

"Nope."

"You can be the head?"

Xander hesitated. The odds were small that the same spell would hit him twice in a lifetime. It was like getting struck by lightning, right?

"Wait a minute," he said, turning to Spike. "You didn't agree to this just for the asking. What are you getting out of it?"

Spike's grin could have made a parson blush. "It'll be worth my while."

Dawn clapped her hands over her ears. "Stop talking! That's too much information right there."

Spike sauntered over to Xander. You wouldn't think a guy wearing brown velour waders, his hair all mussed from a costume hat, could look menacing. "This play's going to happen because Buffy wants it. So that leaves you one question, Harris. Heads or tails?"

Xander considered his options. On the whole, he'd rather be a horse's ass than walk around with Spike trailing him.

He sighed. "Tails."


End file.
